include
I am linking up for Five Minute Friday a five minute free write with a word prompt each week. Today’s prompt is “Include.” http://fiveminutefriday.com
I think we spend most of our lives wondering if we’ll be included.
Wondering if we will get an invite to that thing we heard about. Wanting to be part of that one group of people that seems like a perfect fit for us.
And then our feelings are hurt when the invitation doesn’t come, and once again we see that group of people together and they smile and wave at you, but don’t invite you in.
What might it look like for us to flip the switch? To make room at our table for others rather than hoping to be included at the tables others have prepared? To buy that extra chair and placemat, to dig the leaf out of the closet, open up the table, and make it bigger?
There is rejection in both, surely. One makes you feel more in control than others, I suppose. Both involve a little bit of hope. One feels more empowering than the other, because let’s face it, when someone invites you to their table, we still aren’t sure how long we’ll get a place. We still might feel like the odd one out, the one with the different colored placemat and who doesn’t have the matching glass.
But the other opens your heart a bit more. When we include others rather than ourselves waiting to be included I’ve discovered it makes me much more open to hearing the other’s story. The other one always makes me feel like I’m trying to prove my worth in my own story. So what if we all learned to include others rather than worry about being included ourselves?
Stephanie Nelson 
Love the way you’ve flipped the question of being included, Stephanie.
For myself, with two cancers doing their best to kill be horribly (pancreatic and, likely, non-H lymphoma), it’s a moot point. I don’t care if I’m included, and no one can come here, because I’m locked in a very, very personal fight which I intend to win.
But I sometimes wonder hat I will be, at that point. It’s been a hard fight, and perhaps dehumanizing…and perhaps I’m no longer fit for inclusion.
We’ll see.
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I can certainly see where something that difficult would make that desire go aware. I have no doubt that no matter how hard the fight has been for you, and no matter how much the idea of being included has been removed from your heart, that it simply means you are stronger in your soul and braver in your heart. I think that means you are very much worth including.
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this is a beautiful take on the prompt. loved it.
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Thank you.
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Love it! I recently just had this happen when one of my guests brought 2 additional guests. What do you do? How do you hide the surprised look on your face? Just as you said, you gracefully invite them in. Great way to look at it, from both sides of the coin!
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Grace is such an important part of the equation.
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Ok… First off… I’ve been looking for more blogs to subscribe to and read, And I’m so happy to have found yours at FMF… Also, I LOVE the shift in perspective here! Absolutely love it. It speaks to me, so timely!
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How much wisdom – and blessing, too – in being the invitor rather than simply waiting to be invited!!
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