the slow art of mending

When I find myself trying not to look across the room, wondering. When I find myself waiting for that acceptance in some form of contact. When I find myself assuming rather than knowing. When I find myself waiting and hoping that this isn’t really rejection but just miscommunication. When I find myself asking “was it […]

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An Unexamined Life

Now that I am no longer a student, I find myself in this odd time of transition. Where I can’t find anything I need (because it’s all packed in boxes or suitcases), where I’m not really sure what to do with my time because there isn’t something else really pressing due next week, and where […]

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Belonging to God – Part 1

I may have a major decision to make in the next two weeks. Or I may not. Bleh. In my “old” age, I’ve learned I don’t like change very much. I don’t like seasons of unrest or uncertainty. These seasons make me feel anxious, worried, and well… downright awful.I struggle to really trust the Lord […]

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Seminary and Money

I hate that those two words even have to go together. But it’s a very real issue I face every single day. When I first left my full-time job and moved to St. Louis, the first thing that scared me to death was the lose of a paycheck. It’s hard when your bank account first […]

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Evergreen

Me and the trees, losing our leavesFalling like blood on the groundI want to be evergreenEverything dies, I know last nightPart of me wasn’t aroundI want to be evergreenYeah, evergreen… Waiting, and listeningHoping and missing all of our time left aloneI’m the one cutting the ropeFrostbite in winter, ’cause like a splinter you come and […]

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Grieving the Loss

A common term I hear around the seminary, mainly from counseling students, is the idea of “grieving the loss.” I hadn’t taken much time to find out what it meant, nor did I assume it was something I needed. Until last week. I have the opportunity to take advantage of free counseling that the seminary […]

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Relationships

I read a book this last semester called The Relational Way: From small group structures to holistic life connections (by M. Scott Boren) for a one week class I had in January. The author talks about how there are four spaces or distances that determine how a person relates to others. 1.) The Public Space […]

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On the Road to Beautiful

Play this while you read. A lot of people warned me that seminary would be less about learning than I would expect or would maybe even want. Expect lots of reading, expect messiness, expect needy people, expect to be broken. I knew that going in. I promise I did. I crumble at Your kiss and […]

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Infliction

The troubadours wrote songs and poetry, mainly centering around the themes of love and chivalry. One theme that has always struck me was their idea that the wound a person suffers can only be healed by the one who inflicted it. Richard Wagner, a German composer, eludes to the idea that the only way to […]

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Setting it Down

I’ve been making my way through Season One of Joan of Arcadia on DVD, an amazing show that ran on CBS from 2003-2005. And it’s cancellation is the reason I won’t watch CBS anymore. (Unless Bright Eyes is on Letterman… I gave in for 10 minutes just once. I’ve also really come to love How […]

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