Why must we pretend to be happy? And why is this asinine desire for others to see us at the best version of ourselves?
You see, this is why I can never work in a job like sales or customer service. I just can’t be a chipper, happy and pleasant person on cue. It’s not in my genetic make-up. I don’t feel like a lesser person because of it. Maybe I should. I just can’t stand acting fake to another person.
What does God say about posing? I haven’t done a lot of looking into this, so I don’t recall much off the top of my head, but I wonder about Matthew 5:37 “Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” . I remember studying this in a class I had on Instructional Bible Study and in context, Jesus is talking about keeping the promises you make to God. But can’t this be applied to any situation? “Don’t be a faker. Be honest with who you are and what you feel. Stick to your word and follow through with it” I have a hard time believing Jesus would do anything less than that.
I remember about six years ago our former pastor was going through a series on marriage and one sermon in particular I still remember – it was on the myths of marriage. One myth he mentioned was “I shouldn’t have to change to make my husband/wife happy”. He believes it’s important to change because we should want our spouse to be happy. That left a bad taste in my mouth, so I called him up and we talked about it. I was in a relationship at the time where I was being asked to change, and while the change was really no big deal in retrospect, I was concerned about changing the heart of who I was. And I wasn’t about to do that for anyone. He reminded me his wife loves quilts and he doesn’t really care for them. So when she wants to go to a quilt show and wants him to go with, he goes, not because he’s a doormat, but because it makes her happy. And he wants her to be happy. He told me not to compromise who I am at my core, because God made me that way for a reason, but changing behavior to make someone else happy is essentially a gift, as long as it doesn’t conflict with the standard God has set for us in scripture.
I still hate being a poser and in every situation, I avoid doing so because I hate who I become when I do. But I can see my former pastor’s point. Part of being in a relationship with someone is wanting to please them, not to get your own way.
What I’m listening to: Tegan and Sara’s So Jealous
Still reading Peretti’s Monster (with a security blanket nearby). It’s completely freaking me out.