Courtesy of the view from her:
Don’t drink anything while reading the following text, or I will owe you a new keyboard.
The Daily Mail reports, “Vasectomies could be a thing of the past thanks to a remote controlled implant that can stop the flow of sperm. The valve-like device can be opened and shut at the press of a button, using the same technology that locks a car using a key fob.”
Well. This is genius. It finally gives men a way to be responsible for contraception, in a form they like: a remote control. Now let’s just try to picture how this works. The implant, which contains a tiny antenna, is inserted you-know-where, using a needle. The valve remains closed most of the time, as a contraceptive. Should a man desire to try to conceive, he can open the valve with his remote control. He just points it at…himself, and clicks. (Okay, is anyone but me laughing? I mean besides the women.)
The remote then sends a radio signal through the skin to the implant’s antenna, which converts it into sound waves. You know, this is kind of starting to sound like a good news/bad news invention, if you ask me. The good news is you get a cool new remote control, but the bad news is in involves needles and radio signals and sound waves all concentrated in one particularly… sensitive spot. Here’s another totally awesome feature: “As with cars, each device would have its own unique code so it could not be opened by anyone else.”
Right now I’m picturing an especially passionate moment upstairs, in which for some unknown reason, downstairs the garage door is going up and down.
And it provides a whole new reason for men and women to fight over who gets the remote.
Okay, yeah, I’m now dying with laughter. I can’t help it. I’m 12.