in which risk is the biggest thing

People are more than the sum total of their unsafe traits…. Don’t confuse people with unsafe traits. Learn to identify what traits hurt you.*
There is such a glorious raw and open wound that happens when you own your story.
Glorious in its freedom and liberty.
Raw and open in its vulnerability.

What we’ve been through is part of who we are. These are the tiny little pieces we put together to help us try to make sense of why. Why we feel the way we do, why we do what we do, why we are drawn to who we are drawn to, why we hurt the way we hurt.

When I feel like I can’t work and hustle anymore and I wait for something… anything… and nothing comes.
The white buffalo evades. He’s really good at that.
When someone fails to do what they told me they would do, it hurts.
 If I’m honest with myself, this is just another form of rejection for me.
When someone leaves even though they know they are needed by you, it hurts.
The friendship manual we all have says, “Stay put, you idiot. Be present. You are needed in times like these.”
When I am pursuing and I am not pursued back, it hurts.
This makes me feel desperate.

And over all this, when someone knows all these things about me and they still chose to hurt me –
I must own my story. I must identify what hurts me, let those I love know I can’t have that, and then give them the power to fail me. To have a piece of me that I might not ever get back. To hurt me. All the while hoping they won’t.
I defy you to think of a bigger risk in life.

*Safe People, Cloud and Townsend. Pg. 115.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: