crisis and transition

Yesterday, someone said this to me: “The first time we sat down and had a long conversation, shortly after we met, I had a sense of who you were and what you’d been through. Then I called you three weeks later, and you were a completely different person. It was after you’d been with your […]

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trauma and grace

Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape or natural disaster. Immediately after the event, shock and denial are typical. Longer term reactions include unpredictable emotions, flashbacks, strained relationships and even physical symptoms like headaches or nausea. While these feelings are normal, some people have difficulty moving on with their […]

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open wounds

Some wounds can only be healed when everything is all out in the open without a bandage keeping the scratch sterile and protected. Because sometimes the wound needs to be exposed. Bumped a few times. It hurts like a mother, but it will be worth it because eventually the wound will dry out and close up. […]

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search

I was in a hotel room after the first day in Milwaukee, journaling. It had been a very long time since I’d sat down with paper and pen to journal about my “feelings.”  I’ll journal here, typing furiously or sometimes painfully slow, depending on my emotions in that moment. And I journal through books of […]

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loneliness and the white buffalo

It’s such a real feeling. It comes it waves… not tiny ebbs and flows but in huge, crashing, surfers’ dream kind of Hawaii-sized waves. What do you do with loneliness when you are introverted? It’s not the same… being a loner and being lonely. Or being exhausted by people and being lonely. As I need […]

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[o me of little faith]

When the time comes, I know. I sometimes jump too soon, but I try to trust my instincts more, as I’m told I often have good ones. So I jump. I jump while knowing it will end with a crash, hoping that I will be caught. You might even say it’s jumping with one eye […]

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Failing in Solitude

Word’s gotten around at church about my application to seminary. Last week two people mentioned it, then this week four did. I imagine the senior pastor brought it up at the last board meeting, in order to discuss what they would do if I left – whether to look for someone within the church, or […]

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Silence

Do they make heavenly earplugs to drown out the world? ‘Cause I could use some.

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The Post I’ve Been Avoiding

I’ve been avoiding this entry for a long time. But I’ve decided to finally face the music, suck it up and just type. Do I want to be a pastor? I’ve been asked that a lot in the last several months. Since I was in high school I’ve had a few church members tell me […]

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Wish You Were Here

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,blue skies from pain.Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil?Do you think you can tell? And did they get you trade your heroes for ghosts?Hot ashes for trees? Hot air for a cool breeze?Cold comfort for change? […]

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