Category: doubt

crisis and transition

Yesterday, someone said this to me: “The first time we sat down and had a long conversation, shortly after we met, I had a sense of who you were and what you’d been through. Then I called you three weeks later, and you were… Continue Reading “crisis and transition”

trauma and grace

Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape or natural disaster. Immediately after the event, shock and denial are typical. Longer term reactions include unpredictable emotions, flashbacks, strained relationships and even physical symptoms like headaches or nausea. While these… Continue Reading “trauma and grace”

open wounds

Some wounds can only be healed when everything is all out in the open without a bandage keeping the scratch sterile and protected. Because sometimes the wound needs to be exposed. Bumped a few times. It hurts like a mother, but it will be worth… Continue Reading “open wounds”


I was in a hotel room after the first day in Milwaukee, journaling. It had been a very long time since I’d sat down with paper and pen to journal about my “feelings.”  I’ll journal here, typing furiously or sometimes painfully slow, depending on… Continue Reading “search”

loneliness and the white buffalo

It’s such a real feeling. It comes it waves… not tiny ebbs and flows but in huge, crashing, surfers’ dream kind of Hawaii-sized waves. What do you do with loneliness when you are introverted? It’s not the same… being a loner and being lonely.… Continue Reading “loneliness and the white buffalo”

[o me of little faith]

When the time comes, I know. I sometimes jump too soon, but I try to trust my instincts more, as I’m told I often have good ones. So I jump. I jump while knowing it will end with a crash, hoping that I will… Continue Reading “[o me of little faith]”

I’ve been a bad blogger…

I have 8… count ’em 8 posts started and haven’t finished a single one. Too much going on and not enough time to write. That’s frustrating! Bad blogger. My friend Shannon convinced me to join facebook a while back and it seems like everyone… Continue Reading “I’ve been a bad blogger…”

Failing in Solitude

Word’s gotten around at church about my application to seminary. Last week two people mentioned it, then this week four did. I imagine the senior pastor brought it up at the last board meeting, in order to discuss what they would do if I… Continue Reading “Failing in Solitude”


Do they make heavenly earplugs to drown out the world? ‘Cause I could use some.

The Post I’ve Been Avoiding

I’ve been avoiding this entry for a long time. But I’ve decided to finally face the music, suck it up and just type. Do I want to be a pastor? I’ve been asked that a lot in the last several months. Since I was… Continue Reading “The Post I’ve Been Avoiding”