The Space Between

What I’m listening to: Santus Real’s Fight the Tide

I remember the first time I heard a Dave Matthews song. It was well before they were mainstream and I was standing in line at the cafeteria and two people I knew were singing: What would you say/If you a monkey on a string/If you a doggie on a chain/What would you say. I have no idea why this memory stayed with me; it was probably 10 years ago. It’s weird that I would remember something so insignificant, but I remembered it. Today.

So it couldn’t be more ironic this is how I first heard DMB in light of what I’m writing about now. Today I read the following sentence: There is a space in between us on the journey that we both contribute to.

Years ago the following song was quite popular, and it’s hard for me to forget because it was on the radio when a guy smashed into my car (with me in it) with his pickup. Every time I hear that song, it’s followed by the sound of my blue mercury tracer going “crunch”. Since then, I’m not so much a fan of DMB.

You cannot quit me so quickly
there’s no hope in you for me
No corner y’could squeeze me
But I’ve got all the time for you, love

The space between, the tears we cry
Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more
The space between, the wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep us safe from the pain

Will I hold you again?
These fickle, fuddled words confuse me
Like will it rain today?
We waste the hours with talking, talking
These twisted games we’re playing

We’re strange allies
With warring hearts
What a wild-eyed beast you be
The space between, the wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep us safe from the pain

Will I hold you again?
Will I hold you…

Look at us spinning out in the madness of a rollercoaster
You know you went off like the devil in a church
In the middle of a crowded room
All we can do, my love is hope we don’t take this ship down

The space between, where you smile and hide
Where you’ll find me if I get to go
The space between, the bullets in our fire fight
Is where I’ll be hiding, waiting for you
The rain that falls splashed in your heart
Ran like sadness down the window into your room
The space between, our wicked lies
Is where we hope to keep safe from pain

Actually, this song always meant a lot to me because at the time I had a huge space between my best friend and I. Grand canyon level. A friend I had known for two short years at the time. The first friend I made when I moved back to Nebraska. Now? That canyon is twice the size. I hate that my life has become a series of failed friendships.

The space between my former best friend’s heart and mine is getting closer. At least on my end. But this sentence that I read today “There is a space in between us on the journey that we both contribute to” was written by a different former best friend. Coincidence? This same person was also one singing “What Would You Say” in the cafeteria line all those years ago. Spooky. Ironic, actually.

So my space is closing in. Maybe my other friend’s is also. Maybe it’s time.

Time to contribute.

I miss my friend. That much I know. Maybe I don’t need to know anything else.

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