depend

I am linking up for Five Minute Friday a five minute free write with a word prompt each week. Today’s prompt is “Depend.” http://fiveminutefriday.com



Being single stinks.

I know some people who think we have it so easy without a husband, “you must have so much time”. Without kids, “that’s why you still look so young for your age” people say.

They are just pushing the knife deeper in to my wound.

While those things hurt, I think the hardest one for me is having no one else I can depend on. I learned a long time ago that I had no choice but to depend on myself. So I change my own tires, I hang my own pictures, I put together my own furniture, I pug in my own heavy packages, I take out my own trash. I have to do it all by myself.

I don’t consider myself a particularly lonely person. I’m introverted, so I don’t need people around all that much. Every once and a while, though, I come home after a rough day and really wish I had someone to be with. Someone who would try to fix my problems. Someone to complain to. Someone who would fail to see my expectations, some who would hurt me, someone to be a witness for my life. Someone to depend on. 

But I don’t. I depend on myself to get things done. To pay the bills. To do the hard stuff. 

I just don’t buy the stuff that’s too heavy to lift.

4 thoughts on “depend

  1. I am filled with a hundred things I want to say… I am sorry that this is a hard and uncomfortable part of your journey. That is tough… I know God has an amazing plan for you, to lead you, but I also know this isn't of much comfort sometimes. Without the evidence of our hearts desires being even slightly fullfilled, they just become words sometimes. Or at least that has been the case for me… I am not single. I am married. I Adore my husband… But that being said, my prayer for you today is that you can keep your eyes on Jesus and form your ideals from there. Being married does not mean you have someone to depend on. I thought it did for a long time and my husband has decimated my heart time and time again. Granted, this isn't how God planned it, but we are human and we humans do some really dumb stuff too… Which leads me to also point out- I can't really depend on myself either… (stupid is as stupid does). I've got Jesus- He is the only one who hasn't failed me. It is the few times when I've actually trusted him fully that the amazing happened…. Thoughts for you today! I know your journey will be such an incredibly breath taking one because I know your author! 🙂

    Like

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