falling in love

While I have taken the time to identify who and what I must fall out of love with this year, I also must take a moment, with my words and my heart, to remind myself of those I plan to stay in love with.
With my heart open, trying so much to let others love me and know me and be there for me (and hopefully I’ve been able to be there for them in the way they deserve, too) I have found those who have been good to me. Those who have been careful with my heart, who’ve taught me what grace really looks like, what the inconvenience of friendship looks like, and if I’m being completely honest, what true love looks like.
It looks like calling me every morning while I’m putting on my makeup to remind me they are there for me.
It looks like bringing me coffee or flowers. Just because they know it will mean the world to me.
It looks like those who’ve grieved with me, lamented with me, prayed with me when neither of us felt like it, but Jesus made it so.
It looks likes text message not just asking, “How are you?” but asking “How can I help you?”
It looks like laughter and forgiveness and grace and understanding and confusion and talking. Oh, the talking.
It looks like a nearly dead phone battery by 4pm.
These are my people.
The ones I fell in love with and the ones I intended to stay in love with. My people. The ones who get me. The ones who’ve been there even though I don’t deserve it. And have been there because I do. The ones who are willing to lean into the hard it all is and give me a small and significant place to be hurt, to feel, to be who God made me.
With grace. Oh, so much grace.
Thank you. You know who you are. I am a better person because of you. I owe you my heart.
I will hand these people a needle and thread. And slowly, painfully watch as they move in and out of my soul, wading around in the muck and mire. Jesus will help them put me back together again because that’s what he does. He gives us people to break and to bind us.

It’s not safe, but it’s good.

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