search

I was in a hotel room after the first day in Milwaukee, journaling. It had been a very long time since I’d sat down with paper and pen to journal about my “feelings.”  I’ll journal here, typing furiously or sometimes painfully slow, depending on my emotions in that moment. And I journal through books of […]

Read More

falling out of love

My word for 2014, though I’m only realizing it now that it’s over, was courage. As I think about what I want and hope from 2015, there is a phrase that keeps running through my head. “falling out of love with what isn’t good for me” The phrase, “falling out of love” might be controversial, […]

Read More

when I think about leaving

I think about the time I had you over to watch a movie with a bunch of others and you inspected my bookcase just to make sure we could be friends. I think about that time I was at your house until 3am playing “Your Best Life Now” and you fell off your chair laughing. […]

Read More

still

 I’ve missed a lot of prompt words from FMF lately, which is too bad because I know how powerful those posts can be for me to write. But my life is just not in a place where I’m willing to be aware of enough that I remember to think,“Oh, it’s Friday. That’s means blogging.” Especially […]

Read More

loss

Loss. It’s a word that provokes a lot of emotion. The loss can progress over time, but can also decrease over time. What kind of crazy-ass supernatural kind of emotion does that? Loss does. Sometimes loss is inevitable. Sometimes we’ve seen the writing on the wall for a while; perhaps the roller-coaster of the experience […]

Read More

Our Inextricable Connection

When I grabbed my phone off the charger this morning to toss it in my purse and head out the door to work, I glanced at it briefly and discovered my entire screen filled up with facebook messages from high school classmates. The group had been trying to plan a reunion, so it wasn’t unusual […]

Read More

my umbrella for 2013

In many ways, I am happily leaving 2012 behind. In other ways, I’m scared for what this means for 2013. My first two years in vocational full-time ministry have been painful. They’ve been a struggle. But I have never loved Jesus more in my life. So it’s impossible to say that I, in some way, […]

Read More

From Grief to Blame

It’s hard not to seek answers during a time like this in our country. It’s hard not to keep your eyes glued to the TV as the news coverage uncovers all the details of a national tragedy. It’s also hard to simply let yourself heal. My therapist in seminary told me I move on too […]

Read More

Homesick

I found myself caught off-guard tonight as I looked at a photo my friend Jim posted on facebook of his new baby boy. The next photo was one of him, his wife and he now oldest son, sweet, smiling and happy. I began to tear up. Three people my second year in St. Louis changed […]

Read More

Justice and Mercy

A twitter post led me to turn on CNN at around 8:15 tonight. And unless you live under a rock, you know why. I sat there stunned, not sure I should believe what was being said until I heard it from Obama’s mouth. I watch the CNN coverage as they showed people starting to gather […]

Read More