pieces

I had stopped at a cute display of wine-themed gifts when it happened. As I stared at the mustache-shaped drink marker, I felt it. The pieces all tumbled out from my core and landed on the floor. They scattered all around me. I made a fist with my left hand and pressed it up against […]

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leave

I find myself checking my phone a lot lately. My email. My phone log, my text messages. Every few minutes. Just in case I missed it. I have a hard time leaving those I love. I even tend to hang on and stay long past the expiration date. It’s funny, though, but I generally don’t […]

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notice

Say something I’m giving up on you.   Because I am. I tried to hang on. Short of showing up on your doorstep in tears, I gave you more than enough opportunities to notice. To notice what I was going through. To notice how much I need you. Anywhere I would’ve followed you   Actually, […]

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loss

Loss. It’s a word that provokes a lot of emotion. The loss can progress over time, but can also decrease over time. What kind of crazy-ass supernatural kind of emotion does that? Loss does. Sometimes loss is inevitable. Sometimes we’ve seen the writing on the wall for a while; perhaps the roller-coaster of the experience […]

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change

  I looked down at my phone and sighed the biggest sigh in the history of the world. Yeah, ok. I might be exaggerating. But that’s how I felt this morning. They say that habits form with repetitive choices and positive reinforcement. Well, I was used to getting a text message from a friend. Nearly […]

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feeling the disappointment [living life without expectations]

 As part of a new series I’m starting on expectations, one of the most unexplored places for me is disappointment. Understanding it, exploring it, and “sitting in the emotion” of disappointment and really letting yourself FEEL it. One of the reasons I see this as being so important, though it can be painful to experience, […]

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Expectations and Saving Mr. Banks

Unless you are living under a rock, you probably went to go see Saving Mr. Banks in the last few weeks. I was glad to be warned ahead of time that this was not a sweet and happy film about the making of a sweet and happy film I remember from my childhood. I was told […]

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the risk of excruciating vulnerability

I discovered this talk a couple of years ago and I watch it pretty regularly. Each time I take away something different. Which I both love and hate.  “There is only one variable that separated the people who have a sense of love and belonging and the people who really struggle for it and that […]

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disappointment, love and being an INFJ

It’s been a while since I’ve talked about disappointment in a post. And I’m experiencing it in spades right now, so that usually means I needs to write about it. So I can figure out how I feel. Yes, this is how an INFJ works. I have a friend in my life that regularly disappoints me. […]

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the slow art of mending

When I find myself trying not to look across the room, wondering. When I find myself waiting for that acceptance in some form of contact. When I find myself assuming rather than knowing. When I find myself waiting and hoping that this isn’t really rejection but just miscommunication. When I find myself asking “was it […]

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