How can I not share this?
What I’m listening to: ABBA’s Gold (and I’m not afraid to admit it!)
It’s hilarous.And I swear it has nothing to do with me being a Mac person.
Being Someone Who Matters
“Why would you want to spend your life where you aren’t needed?”
A typically thoughtful question from a man known for well, his thoughtful and stirring questions.
Earlier this week, my friend Angie mentioned one acceptance speech stuck out to her as she watched the Oscars – Reese Witherspoon’s. At one point, Reese said “People used to ask June [Carter, the character she played to win Best Actress] how she was doing, and she used to say — “I’m just trying to matter.” And I know what she means. You know, I’m just trying to matter, and live a good life and make work that means something to somebody.” And Angie realized that’s all she wanted, too.
I’m afraid that we sell out comfort for fear. I’m afraid that we choose complacency instead of a passionate life devoted to Christ. I’m afraid that people are so worried about how hard their life could be that they just settle for what they can get. I saw that in Angie eyes as she confessed she just wanted to matter. She just wanted a passion and direction. She’s happy; I so see that in her, and she told me as much. But as I prayed with her and asked God to stir her heart and help her find the purpose he has waiting for her, her tears told me she was longing for something better. Something less comfortable. Something she could pour her heart into.
I’ve so been there, Angie. We all have, haven’t we? The desire to want more than this life is simply a God-shaped hole in us, that tells us we are meant to live for more. But we lost ourselves in a valley of consumerism (even Tony thinks so). Our past failures, no matter how small, have broken us. And we’ve withdrawn to a place where there is no risk. We surround ourselves with things that inspire our safety, but don’t inspire our hearts. We believe this God-shaped hole is about us longing for heaven, but I don’t think that’s the only thing we should long for.
I believe we should long for God to do a good work in us, a work that matters, a work that lets us be his hands and his feet on this earth. Let’s not spend time investing in heaven. Let’s spend time investing on helping people on this earth get to it. It may not be comfortable or easy, but at least it matters.
Welcome to the Planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone’s here
Everybody’s watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next?
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before
Welcome to the Fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be
Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here
I can only shake my head in disbelief
And sorry that I used to live in Kansas.
Surprise!
What I’m listening to: Waterdeep’s Live at the New Earth
I’m not called to be a worship leader.
Not that ever felt 100% confident to be worship leader…because if God spoke to me in a still, small voice or a loud boom, I completely missed it. Wouldn’t be the first time.
However, I know I’m called to lead worship in the place on at at this time, but I’m certain I’m not called to do this forever. Don’t get me wrong, I love to lead worship. It’s a pleasure and joy to do what I do with the people I do it with. I’m just not called to it.One of the reasons I feel called to lead worship at this time and place is not just a matter of worship. It’s about church health.
So this little epiphany (if you will) is not a huge surprise, but in a way it kind of is. God’s done a lot to surprise me these last few years and maybe I always thought in the back of my mind that even though I didn’t feel called to lead worship didn’t mean God wouldn’t bring me to that place at a later time.
But my passion isn’t music nor is it leading worship. I do have a great passion of worship, but I believe in the importance of separating the two.
So what am I passionate about? I haven’t fully been able to articulate it yet. I know what it is, and I know what I want to accomplish, but I’m unsure of what step to take next. So that will come at a later time. But it’s nice this passion, it’s nice. Nice to finally have something burn deep inside my heart that for once has nothing to do with my own selfishness. So, I say bring it on. Bring on the burn.
I stand and look around an empty place…
What I’m listening to: Canticle of the Plains
Last Sunday I went to clean my old place. To make it new and shiny for the next inhabitants. Start in the back, work toward the front. Top to bottom, work in a circle. I’ve always been taught that’s the way to go through and clean a house. And somewhere in the middle of it all, I had to pause.
I spent the last five years in that place – where some pretty amazing things happened to me. Those pretty amazing memories criss-crossed in my brain as I scrubbed and wiped. Smiles crossed my face and all that. But more than anything, I actually took pause.
I’ve never grown emotionally attached to a residence before. Perhaps it’s not so much attachment, but for the first time when I moved out of a place I actually stood and looked around after it was empty to say goodbye. It was so obligatory – done without thought as to why. Like I couldn’t help myself.
God took me to a different place when I lived there. A place I never expected. Through pain and healing, through love and heartache, and very unexpectedly, though restoration. I am thankful. How could I ask for more?
Stephanie Nelson 