The Birth Order Predictor
What I’m listening to: Music Inspired by the Chronicles of Narnia
Huh. Interesting. I have two much older brothers. So I guess I am an only child in a way. The rest of it is nearly dead on.
You Are Likely an Only Child |
 At your darkest moments, you feel frustrated. At work and school, you do best when you’re organizing. When you love someone, you tend to worry about them. In friendship, you are emotional and sympathetic. Your ideal careers are: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, and management. You will leave your mark on the world with organizational leadership, maybe as the author of self-help books. |
Being Watered
What’s I’m listening to: Plumb’s Candycoatedwaterdrops
I’ve decided that we’re not that much different than plants.
A plant gives and gives oxygen. But if you don’t water it, it dies.
I’ve been around the people who are constantly striving. Striving to be better, striving to be seen, striving to make their life better. But there comes a point when striving is more hurtful than harmful.
The very word “striving” has a lot of negative and painful connotations associated with it. It suggests the continuous, constant pushing of oneself. I picture a marathon runner at the end of the 26-mile stretch, reaching and reaching for the finish line. And I always picture a painful look on their face. But not all striving has to be painful. There are ways to push yourself without overloading yourself with guilt, fear, and critical thoughts. When striving begins to break your heart, beat down your spirit, it no longer is beneficial. But does that imply that pushing ourselves is a bad thing? No. Striving to be better is something I believe to be biblical.
I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. –Philippians 3:10-14
When striving begins to wear us down, not build us up, that’s when striving is no longer a virtue. To be around someone who is striving is stressful, unpleasant. It’s makes you feel inadequate, like you are not doing enough. Striving to be the person God intends you to be is something you should feel inspired to do, not obligated to do. It’s not a job, it’s a desire.
That’s where being watered becomes necessary. Find a way to replenish if you see yourself wearing down. Drink in the pleasure of life, allow the journey, not just the end result, to become part of “the joy that comes in the morning”. Never allow the expectations of the world around you to drag you into the pit. Allow God to replenish and inspire your soul.
Hungry-I come to You
For I know You satisfy
I am empty but I know
Your love does not run dry
Broken I run to You
For Your arms are open wide
I am weary but I know Your touch
Restores my life
So I wait for You
So I wait for You
I’m falling on my knees
Offering all of me
Jesus You’re all
This heart is living for
–from “Hungry” Vineyard Worship
Reflecting Light
I’ve had such a surreal day… and sometimes the only thing that can truly express the way I feel, is someone else’s words…
Sam Phillips – Reflecting Light
Now that I’ve worn out, I’ve worn out the world
I’m on my knees in fascination
Looking through the night
And the moon’s never seen me before
But I’m reflecting light
I wrote the pain down
Got off and looked up
Looked into your eyes
The lost open windows
All around
My dark heart lit up the skies
And now that I’ve worn, I’ve worn out the world
I’m on my knees in fascination
Looking through the night
And the moon’s never seen me before
But I’m reflecting light
Give up the ground
Under your feet
Hold on to nothing for good
Turn and run at the mean times
Chasing you
Stand alone and misunderstood
And now that I’ve worn, I’ve worn out the world
I’m on my knees in fascination
Looking through the night
And the moons never seen me before
But I’m reflecting light
Being the Better Person
Every time I go to my small group, I end up feeling convicted about something. And it’s driving me crazy.
I had a friend back in college who blew up at me once – and it was for something pretty silly. He was mad that the costume designer in the play we were both in wouldn’t sew a button on his shirt. I was the messenger (I don’t remember how or why) so I was the one who felt the brunt of her message. He yelled, threw the shirt back at me, and caused a big scene in the green room. This guy was a good friend, and how he treated me was inexcusable. I let him know that. And he stomped away.
The next day in the cafeteria a mutal friend of ours came up to me and said “I think you should say something to him.” So my reply was, “Why? I didn’t do anything wrong. He should come to me if anything.” Our friend’s reply was “Sometimes it’s best to be the bigger person, no matter who’s right or wrong.”
I knew our friend was right, so of course I had no reply. But I was still my stubborn self and did nothing. That evening, I was apoligized to for the whole button incident, and I forgave him just like any “good Christian girl” (shout-out to Rebekah) would do. He and I remained friends – it was really no big deal. But I remember it to this day. Why? Because “Sometimes it’s best to be the bigger person.” Those words are still with me.
Oswald Chambers wrote about the importance justice plays in forgiveness. From Daily Thoughts for Disciples:
It would be an immoral thing to forgive a person who did not say he or she was sorry…I cannot forgive my enemies and remain just unless they cease to be my enemies and give proof of their sorrow, which must be expressed in repentance. I have to remain steadfastly true to God’s justice. There are times when it would be easier to say “Oh, well, it does not matter. I forgive you,” but Jesus insists that the uttermost farthing must be paid. The love of God is based on justice and holiness, and I must forgive on the same basis.
One of Chamber’s biggest faults in this line of thinking is that forgiveness means dismissing the act you are forgiving. I disagree. The very act of forgiving, whether the person asks for it or not, says “It mattered. It hurt me. But I need to move on and not carry that hurt with me anymore.” If it didn’t matter, it wouldn’t hurt.
Where is my justice, as a forgiven sinner? My punishment is served, done, completed. My sin – not in part, but the whole – is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more.
My conviction that creeps up every Monday night at small group? It’s this conviction that although I’ve been wronged, I should be the one to be the better person. To take the first step. And I’m afraid that in taking that first step, I will be saying “Oh, well, it does not matter. I forgive you.”
What I’m listening to: Death Cab for Cutie’s Plans
Avoidance
What I’m listening to: PFR’s Disappear
Why in the world do we thinking by avoiding something the problem will go away?
Maybe it’s a situation, a person, a sin we want to oversome. Something in our life that’s a thorn in our side, something that makes life harder than it needs to be. And we avoid it – believing that maybe if we ignore everything about it, the problem will go away on it’s own.
Why do we think it’s easier to avoiding and wonder that to confront and get it over with? Oh, I suppose there are lots of reasons – if it’s a particular sin, we aren’t willing to take the time to discipline ourselves. If it’s a situation, we might feel as though it’s not that big of a deal and we hope it will resolve on it’s own. If it’s a person, we are probably afraid to look that person in the eye and open the hurt you have from what they’ve done.
While Jeremiah was still confined in the courtyard of the guard, the word of the LORD came to him a second time: “This is what the LORD says, he who made the earth, the LORD who formed it and established it—the LORD is his name: ‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’ For this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says about the houses in this city and the royal palaces of Judah that have been torn down to be used against the siege ramps and the sword in the fight with the Babylonians: ‘They will be filled with the dead bodies of the men I will slay in my anger and wrath. I will hide my face from this city because of all its wickedness.
‘Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security. I will bring Judah and Israel back from captivity and will rebuild them as they were before. I will cleanse them from all the sin they have committed against me and will forgive all their sins of rebellion against me.Then this city will bring me renown, joy, praise and honor before all nations on earth that hear of all the good things I do for it; and they will be in awe and will tremble at the abundant prosperity and peace I provide for it.’ – Jeremiah 33: 1-9
God’s promise of restoration here is clear – so why are we so afraid to open the wound in front of the person who hurt us? Because we’ve put our faith in the person – not God. Because the person may be who we want the healing from, and there is no promise or guarantee in that. But there is with God’s.
I spent my life learning to survive,
Walked down these roads
Hoping each one might lead me home.
I learned early on that trust can come undone
And leave your heart guarding it’s deepest part.
Oh, But You got in through the marrow and bone
Shed some light where none had shone.
-PRF
Stephanie Nelson 