dry bones
I had a week full of so many “to-do” lists and so much chaos that I barely had time to breathe and be refreshed.
I worry that one day I will forget how. Forget to breathe. Forget to slow down. Just… forget.
So what I am to do? I t am I to do about a week that I know God caused waters to flow, but I neither had the presence of mind nor the heart to see it?
The hand of the LORD was upon me, and he brought me out in the Spirit of the LORD and set me down in the middle of the valley; it was full of bones. And he led me around among them, and behold, there were very many on the surface of the valley, and behold, they were very dry. And he said to me, “Son of man, can these bones live?” And I answered, “O Lord GOD, you know.” (Ezekiel 37:1-3 ESV)
Sometimes God gives me times of dryness not because he’s angry with me or because he’s forgotten me. He does it because he’s testing me.
And he wants me back.
Reading Ezekiel 37 at this point in the waters project is transforming, because it is reminding me of that my own dry spirit is not the point, that my own spiritually dry heart is not what it’s about. It’s about what God chooses to do. It’s about the power of his presence, and how in it, we are able to live.
Therefore prophesy, and say to them, Thus says the Lord GOD: Behold, I will open your graves and raise you from your graves, O my people. And I will bring you into the land of Israel. And you shall know that I am the LORD, when I open your graves, and raise you from your graves, O my people. And I will put my Spirit within you, and you shall live, and I will place you in your own land. Then you shall know that I am the LORD; I have spoken, and I will do it, declares the LORD.” (Ezekiel 37:12-14 ESV)
This time of dry bones is reminding me that he is the Lord. I belong to him, even when I fail to see it and he is mine, even when he feels far away. Even when it seems the waters aren’t flowing.
This post is part of the he caused waters to flow project.
in which a "kid" takes care of me
As I was on my way to Starbucks Saturday morning (I managed to wake up with sun at 5:30 on my “day off” – though I spent most of the day working on VBS) and I hit the stop light just outside my subdivision and there he was to my right in his little red car… heading the same direction as me. Thomas has always been an early riser, so I wasn’t too surprised to see him out and about. He waved at me, and when we stopped at the next stop light together, he laughed and smirked, undoubtedly hearing my Mumford and Sons music blaring. Early in the morning in Arizona, you relish having your windows down because of the cool weather.
Thomas has been a refresher for me. He’s young (22) and mature in his faith, a big kid inside but I also joke about him being a 40 year old man inside as well (he goes to bed at 9:30 and it more responsible that most 40 year olds I know, especially for a youth pastor). He’s quite conservative and I know he wasn’t much for women leadership in the church before he met me. We have one mind theologically otherwise, and also both have a passion for worship. It’s like having the little brother I always wanted but never had.
After Starbucks I made a quick stop for my vice and rare indulgence – a BoSa’s glazed donut. By the time I got home I had a text from him, “Get your morning coffee fix?” He knows me well.
It’s amazing how moments like this can water you. I realize I’m not like most people – I’m quite introverted with an outgoing personality with a staying power against burnout I don’t fully understand. God has made me amazingly resilient, and I’ve found I rarely only break not from working too much but from lack of people caring for me.
Thomas is someone who cares for me.
I don’t ask for much when I’m sick or when I’m having a bad day. I don’t expect people to come take care of me or to run my errands or even really commiserate with me. But when the people considered close friends can even be bothered to check on me? That’s what breaks me. 4 months after I hired him I got very sick during a difficult time a work. Thomas was the only one in my life here in Arizona who called to make sure I was ok. He sends me encouraging text messages each time I preach and I regularly get a text from him tell me he’s praying for me. That’s not bad for a 22 year old kid. I can’t say enough about how much I appreciate working with him.
This post is part of the he caused waters to flow project.
in which i fall in love with jr. high kids
Last week I had a helper in children’s church who was telling me about how she was about to start meeting with the Jr. High girls part of the Seeds of Hope ministry – a ministry in town that seeks to provide opportunities and help to those in poverty and/or challenging home situations. She asked if one of the mission projects she could do with the girls was come and help with movie nights this summer. I love the Seeds of Hope ministry, and I love Debbie, so my answer was an immediate yes.
So last night Debbie and the girls arrived about an hour before the movie to help me set up the room, pop popcorn and get the sodas ready for the concession stand. I already knew 3 or the 4 girls she brought, which was a bonus. I hadn’t seen them since last year, though, and I noticed what beautiful young women they are turning into. Sweet spirit, sweeter smiles and wonderful respectful attitudes about everything.
All night they were a wonderful help. Constantly asking me what they could do… making an effort to look around and make things as nice and organized as possible. Then after the movie we threw the volleyball around a bit, vacuumed up the popcorn and went home.
These wonderful girls don’t have much of a chance in life. Teenage pregnancy is extremely common in this part of the world, and one of the girls was telling me that she had eight siblings at home, not including a sister who just left (she turned 18) and a mom now pregnant again. The Seeds of Hope ministry works to give them chances they wouldn’t normally have, and Debbie meets with these girls and several others twice a week in the summer to mentor them, share Jesus with them, and be a wonderful presence in the lives.
Ah… this is water for my soul.
This is part of the he caused waters to flow project.
"he caused waters to flow" – a project
When I lived in St. Louis, I grew very tired of the rain. The humidity I could deal with, (sort of) having grown up in the mid-west. It’s never pleasant, but it is simply part of living there. But the rain in St. Louis? But the time I graduated I was over it.
God has a great sense of humor; because of course after that experience with the rain he put me in the desert. It’s been here that I’ve realized just how much I am emotionally affected by the physically environment around me. Some of what I’m experiencing right now – inside – I’m sure is due to my season of life and the calling I’ve received in my vocation. As these two aspects of my life collide, I find myself in fear of remaining “in the desert” so to speak – in a place of dry bones, of a dry heart and a dry soul.
So I am beginning a new writing project that I hope will inspire me and turn me from the desert growing inside my restless soul. I’m calling it the “he caused waters to flow” project. While it doesn’t exactly trip off the tongue, I’m basing in on Psalm 78:16 which reads “He made streams come out of the rock and caused waters to flow down like rivers.” (ESV) What I love about Psalm 78 is how is recounts all the ways God is faithful to his people. That will be a big part of this project, without a doubt, but it will also be about focusing on the water in our lives, not the dryness. I will be looking for uncommon things that are balm for my soul, that quench my thirst, and inspire me to follow a God who is always faithful, even when I am not.
Here’s how it will work: I will do my best to post at least twice a week throughout the rest of the summer on the things that are helping me seeing how he is making the water flow in my life. You, reader, are welcome to join in whatever fashion you’d like. Feel free to use the image I’ve created as part of your post, and please link back to the original post so that perhaps your own readers will like to join in as well. I will also do an evaluation at the end of the project on how God has transformed my heart. (I believe he will transform instead of just hoping!) In the word of a great writer and blogger, Leigh Kramer, “I am beyond tired of running into the same wall. I am tired of the hours and, sometimes, days that catch me not living like the woman God created me to be.” So I am doing what i can to change that. I’d love for you to join me.
Stephanie Nelson 