Wisdom
The 6th post for January Reflections…
Wise: Who is someone currently involved your life that is wise? How do you think they got this way? Send them an email with an attachment to this post to tell them how much you admire them.
The wise of heart is called discerning,
and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness. – Proverbs 16: 21
I have a lot of wise people in my life. But I am only going to tell you about one. Her name is Jennifer and I had the privilege of living and knowing her during the most difficult times of her life. She may not be considered by some as “wise” in the traditional sense. But she is wise where I need her to be wise when it comes to our friendship.
When most people think of what a wise person is, they think of someone who is great at giving advice, who is gifted at discerning God’s word, someone who has great life experience behind them, and/or someone who makes good decisions. I think that up until I met this person, I would have narrowly define wisdom this way, too. But I’ve come to learn that wisdom is so much more than that.
Jennifer knows who to discern my heart almost better than anyone else can. She can discern what it is I need in the moment, what words I need to hear, what encouragement and what kink-in-the-butt. She knows when to give me space and when to pursue. She is incredibly gifted a discerning because I NEVER give anyone hints about what I want or need. She reads me really well and there are very few people in the world that can do that. Many have tried, many have failed. She’s just always understood me. (well, maybe not the first couple of months we knew each other…)
I think this is a gift Jennifer was given by God, though she certainly has lived enough life to have a certain amount of wisdom. But when it comes to discernment, I feel that’s an impossible thing to learn. I believe it’s simply innate, and part of me thinks God made it that way so we couldn’t screw it up so much.
There is something about having someone in your life who just knows you… who gets you. (And who still loves and supports you anyway.) God help me be that person to someone. And thank you so much for sending Jennifer to me.
Books
I’m a couple of days behind on January Reflections. Here is the fourth post from Jan 17-19th.
Reading: It is said that we are what we eat. Likewise, we are what we read. What are you reading to feed your mind and soul currently?
I love, love, love to read. I love the sappy chick book (that eventually becomes a chick flick) I love a great mystery. But I also rarely read fiction. Non-fiction is more my style, and it’s usually something really nerdy like “Love in Hard Places” by D.A. Carson, Pia Desideria by Spener or Desiring the Kingdom: Worship, Worldview, and Cultural Formation by James A. Smith. One of my greatest vices is any book about culture. On my “favorites” list of this genre are “Catching Light: Finding God in the Movies” by Roy Anker, Eyes Wide Open by Romanowski, Culture Making by Andy Crouch, and A Matrix of Meanings (this one will change your perspective permanently!). I got hooked on these when I did an independent study on Twilight and the middle-aged woman’s obsession with these books. I worked on that last Fall while in Covenant and actually ended up writing a curriculum specifically for the “Twi-Hard” audience.
Right now, the books feeding my soul are “Gilead” by Marilyn Robinson, “The World is Not My Home” by Michael D. Williams and “Discovering Biblical Equality: Complementarity Without HierarchyRonald W. Pierce, Rebecca Merrill Groothuis, and Gordon D. Fee.
“A room without books is like a body without a soul.” -Cicero
Sleep… Rest… Comfort… Safety
The 4th of January Reflections ’11
Sleep: What can you do to improve your quality of sleep? Take a short glance around the Bible to see what it has to say about sleep and then share it with us.
I’m weirdly feng shui about my bedroom. I’m a firm believer in the feng shui of arranging your bedroom. Don’t place the bed in front of the door because you will be thinking about what’s outside the door: i.e., the many things there are to do, which will not help you rest. It’s also important to remove all the work from the room, for the same reason. It’s bad to have a computer or desk in your room… it’s bad to have unfolded laundry in your room (which I currently do, lying on the chest at the foot of my bed. Work and rest are the opposite of each other – to have conflicting messages (albeit subconsciously) can contribute to unrest. It’s also best to not place the bed under a window.
According to feng shui, the bedroom is to be a place of sanctuary. This is what will help aid in the best sleep possible for you. Let me be clear: I’m not an eastern religion sort of person. But I do believe that environment plays an important part of the way you live your life, the way you learn (that’s the educator in me), and more importantly, your attitude about life. When I went through the capstone experience at the end of my master’s degree, I learned a significant part of my philosophy of education is the safety of the environment. … and I read about feng shui 10 years ago. (I believe that means it’s part of the way God wired me, right?)
Psalm 4 is a beautiful expression of what is means to be able to rest in safety:
Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness!
You have given me relief when I was in distress.
Be gracious to me and hear my prayer!
O men, how long shall my honor be turned into shame?
How long will you love vain words and seek after lies?
Selah
But know that the LORD has set apart the godly for himself;
the LORD hears when I call to him.
Be angry, and do not sin;ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent.
Selah
Offer right sacrifices,
and put your trust in the LORD.
There are many who say, “Who will show us some good?
Lift up the light of your face upon us, O LORD!”
You have put more joy in my heart
than they have when their grain and wine abound.
In peace I will both lie down and sleep;
for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.
I think the word “Selah” might be my favorite word in the Bible. I think it’s because I almost never pause and rest. But each time I do the Lord shows me wonderful and gracious thing. He shows me himself. My rest, while I may subscribe to some tenants of feng shui, is completely dependent on God’s grace. The quality of my sleep can be improved by resting in the peace and comfort God provides for me each day, rather than trusting in myself.
Much easier said than done.
The ‘Stuff’ of My Stuff
The 3rd of January Reflection ’11
Stuff: Do you like stuff? What stuff do you have that you could do without? Is your stuff well used? Organized? Burdensome?
I like stuff entirely too much. What I hate is the stuff I can put into a spot, so it lays around until I can figure out where it “belongs”. This is usually office ‘stuff.’ I have a ridiculous weakness for beautiful journals and have far too many empty ones. I love all things paper related, including notepads, notebooks, folder, pretty binders, magazine files and such.
The stuff I could do without is a bizarre compilation of dishes I’ve acquired over the years. I like too many different kinds, so I had the worst time settling on one type. I resorted to collecting bowls so that I ended up with several that didn’t match but that were fun to have around. Alas, they took up too much space in my new kitchen, and I have limited cabinet space in my new home. So most of these bowls and dishes were recently donated. I still, however, have my grandmother’s every dishes tucked away in my buffet, along with some random glasses her daughter (my aunt Janice) recently sent me. One day I hope to find the perfect curio cabinet to display them. Any ideas? Something not too big, modern, black or walnut would be good.
Most of my ‘stuff’ is well used. This is mainly due to, until recently, always living in a pretty small space on a VERY limited budget. I’m not too much of a pack rat – and my rule (typically) is that if I haven’t used it in 3 years, it’s time to go.
The stuff in my life I find burdensome is the emotional stuff. The stuff I can’t truly throw away. The stuff that stay in the dusty parts of my mind and the corner of my heart. The stuff of sin that weighs me down and all too often keeps me from rejoicing in the perfectly fit yoke Christ has given me. It is not organized stuff, but it most certainly does feel heavy.
Disappointment
So.. the second set of choices went up for the January ’11 Reflections ‘challenge’.
Homemade: Tell us why you like store-bought or homemade things more? Share with us anything that was homemade by you this year?
Singleness: Everyone has periods of singleness in his or her lifetime. Did you enjoy those days? Who do you have involved in your life who is single?
Disappointment: What things were left undone this year? What were you too afraid or indifferent to do? What are you going to plan differently for 2011?
Fashion: What is one current fashion you love and one you hate? Share a photo of a fashion blunder you have made.
Scripture: What is the last Scripture verse you heard or read? What was God saying to you?
I read this and went “oof-dah”. Then I ignored it. Then I went back and decided to do Disappointment. (Then cried just at the thought of delving down that road…) Then I decided to do Homemade, ’cause that’s an easy one for me. But anyone who knows me knows I don’t do easy and remain happy with my choice.
The reason I went “oof-dah” is because I knew that I would eventually do Disappointment. I just didn’t want to. And part of me learning and understand who I am recognizes that the reason I don’t do easy goes back a long way… and makes my heart go places it doesn’t want to go, but know it needs to go. (Darn you, stupid seminary counseling! Why are you still with me!?! I graduated already!)
What I feel is left undone from 2010 is seminary. I remember crying and crying when I was first called to Arizona, because I knew I was called to go and yet I also just didn’t feel done with St. Louis. I didn’t feel done with seminary, I didn’t feel done with learning what I needed to learn before moving on. I now no of these kinds of things are ever really undone. But it hit me hard once faced a true realization that I was leaving.
I also know that once again, a certain relationship was left undone. This is not the first year it’s felt this way and somehow I doubt it will be the last. I will never feel “done” with this person, yet I know it’s highly unlikely our paths will cross again. We will forever be phone friends, I don’t doubt that. But this is one friendship I didn’t want to move to that place. For some reason I always pictured us in the same town, perhaps even in living in the same apartment building like we used to, closing out our days together in my living room with a glass of wine. We know both own home and each live in a different state than the one where we met. I miss this friend almost every day and that feels undone. I realize in understanding this disappointment that I am missing those days with this friend. Things were easier in my life than they are now.
Fear is a tragic thing. And self-protection can be the biggest obstacle to fulfilling our calling. Because in that self-protection lives of fear of facing our mess and letting the world see our mess. But God most often uses our mess in our calling. I was afraid to move to Arizona. But I did it. I was afraid to leave St. Louis where I found a wonderful support system, a wonderful church and pastor, and amazing friends. How often does one get to lead worship with their pastor by their side, and be dear friends with his wife? Not often. God gave me a community in St. Louis and I remember being so afraid that wouldn’t happen.
But I was too afraid to talk to my cousin about his drinking (not confront, just talk to). I was too afraid to confront a friend about her selfishness. I was afraid to say goodbye to people very important to me.
I was indifferent to this year’s Christmas program I somehow ended up being in charge of. I was indifferent to the feelings of a volunteer that I was sick of babying. I was indifferent … well, lots of times.
In 2011 I will recognize my indifference and find a person who isn’t indifferent to be part of it. So far my selfish friend has been very unselfish with me since I left St. Louis, so that’s an interesting development there. As for my cousin… I don’t know. I really don’t. I will also not avoid this kind of stuff – admitting my failures and indifference. Recognizing my disappointments and working through them will be part of my growth this year.
Stephanie Nelson 