Censoring at it’s Best
Kansas Bob alerted us to this recent event regarding the movie The Queen.
All mentions of God are bleeped out of a version of the film distributed to Delta and some other airlines.
Jeff Klein, president of Jaguar Distribution, the Studio City, Calif., company that supplied the movie to the airlines earlier this month, said it was a mistake, committed by an overzealous and inexperienced employee who had been told to edit out all profanities and blasphemies.
The dichotomy in this is amazing. An intern exercising freedom of religion by using censorship? (Of course, this is based on a speculation of the intern’s motive, not on a known fact…) It’s not like this kind of censorship’s never occurred before, but it’s usually by extreme conservatives on a banned book brigade, ready to torch the pile and fine the networks.
Maybe it’s just the thought that someone would consider the word “god” blasphemous. It makes me chuckle.
I’m about to be struck down now. I can feel it.
Ego Stroking
Musicians. *rolls eyes* *shakes head*
Oy.
As a worship director, I have the sometimes daunting task of dealing with… well, “different” personalities. As my mother repeated to me over and over as a child “Music people are funny.” Not funny ha-ha. Funny weird.
I know I should be insulted, but she’s right. We’re weird.
I work with about 22 different musicians on a regular basis, with around five-six substitutes that pinch-hit when needed. I have two regulars on keys, and one of them? Seem to live to make my life harder.
Last fall she was approached by two neighboring churches desperate for an organist. She doesn’t get much organ time at our church anymore, so she ask me if she could schedule herself twice a month to play at the other churches. I had some reservations, but after talking to the Senior Pastor, we agreed to change our usual schedule around so she could do this. I had to do some switching of team members (if I tried to explain why, if would get entirely too complicated). After spending a lot of time rearranging things I just couldn’t make things work right, so I got rid of one team (at the time we had five) and put the members on other teams. This left us at four teams.
Then I had two young women approach me about being part of the worship ministry, so I needed to sit down and do some rearranging again. With four already very full teams., I tried combination after combination based on vocal ability, tone matching, as well as considering complimenting personalities. What worked the best was to make the teams smaller and create six total teams. Four of these team have vocalists who prefer leading contemporary-style worship. The other two team have vocalists that only want to lead a blended style. The keyboardist that plays organ at the other congregations plays on our two blended worship style teams.
In doing the schedule for the new year, I kept her schedule the same. She still plays two Sundays a month at our church, then plays elsewhere the other weeks. She got the new schedule, saw there were now six teams and she was only on two, she spoke to the other keyboardist and complained. Without glancing at the schedule to see that she was still playing twice a month, she assumed she would be getting “less playing time” than the other regular keyboardist. But all that happened was more vocalists, not instrumentalists, were leading fewer times (instead of once a month, it’s now every six weeks.) Is your head spinning yet? Yes, this is what my job at church is like.
I refuse to stroke her ego. I don’t have to do this for any other team member; they are happy to serve and love glorifying God with music. Not once have I had to tell anyone to leave their ego at the door. Sometimes personalities clash, but it’s rare. We work through it and move on. It’s viewed as a service, not an ego trip.
When you begin to view your service to the church about getting “equal playing time” maybe it’s time you sit on the bench.
Oy.
Peaks and Valleys
Sometimes it sucks being a girl.
I’m sad tonight, and I have no idea why. I feel as though at any moment I could burst into tears. Far as I can tell, there is absolutely no reason for it. So in my head, I shart checking off a list:
Is it because a good friend told me last night she’s moving back to the east coast?
Is it because I’m frustrated with a situation at work?
Is it because my favorite sweater is almost too worn to wear?
Is it because I feel stuck in one place in my relationship with God?
Is it because I gave up soda?
Is it because I listened to Over the Rhine’s Drunkard’s Prayer album all day?
Is it because when I was sorting my groceries on the conveyor belt tonight I was reminded of a friend (who taught me to do that) whom I no longer talk to?
Is it because a job I was once passed over for is now available and I’m too afraid to try again?
Is it because I doubt that he is suffcient for me and that makes me feel guilty?
Is it because I’ve realize I simply don’t know who God is at all?
Check. Check. Check.
After all the wondering, I still don’t know. Tomorrow may be a peak. Today was a valley. Today was a day of loose ends and questions… a day I felt undone. But I guess the thing about being undone is that I have no choice but to be put back together.
Bless the days this restoration is complete
Dirty, dusty, something must be underneath
So I scrape and I scuff
Though it’s never quite enough
I am starting to see me finally
A gallery of paintings new and paintings old
Guess its no suprise that I;m no michaelangelo
Every layer of mine
Hides a lovely design
It might take a little patience
It might take a little time
But you called me beautiful
When you saw my shame
And you placed me on the wall
Anyway
You who have begun this work will someday see
A portrait of the holiness you meant for me
So I polish and shine till its easier to find
Even an outline of mine
But you called me beautiful
When you saw my shame
And you placed me on the wall
Anyway -Anyway (Nichole Nordeman)
Some Things that Bug
What is it about the blogging community that can simultaneously bring out my self-esteem issues and my rage at the same time?
There is the self-righteous blog, too good for anyone with a differing opinion.
There is the high-horse blog, that if you disagree, they won’t post your comment (or delete it), despite the absence of interesting discussion.
There is the weirdly absent blogger, who posts thought-provoking articles, only to never show up again and let the rest of us opine without him/her.
There is the uneducated blog that thinks it’s smart and only succeeds in looking ignorant, stupid and hickish.
There is the “I’m too smart for my own good” blog where the author clearly tries too hard by forming sentences that while sound smart, manage to say nothing at all.
Having posts rejected, affirmed, deleted or spur one another on creates a push-pull on our egos. Sometimes we respond to annoy the author, sometimes we respond to gain the author’s respect, and in both those cases we can loose who we are, all simply to get someone’s attention. And when we fail, our fluffed up feathers deflate sadly and we retreat into blog obscurity, only to comment on blogs that no one reads in effort to lick our wounds.
All in all, my least favorite blog is the kind lead by an intellectual piss-ant who refuses to ackowledge anyone at all. If you don’t want people to read or comment, why are you in the blogosphere in the first place? Self-importance? Welcome to the club. That’s why we’re all here.
Be who you are. Don’t pretend. Acknowledge one another with grace and love. And remember that we are all children of God. Piss-ant or not.
/rant over.
The Weight of Sin
Last Monday I had a heavy, heavy heart going into my small group.
It’s one I’ve been part of two years. The leaders are people I trust. The other there are those I love. It’s hard to ignore your sin in front of people who mean so much. And while we spent the two hours talking about the study, I kept thinking about this one particular sin. How awful and dirty it made me feel. And how hypocritical of me to talk to those who help keep me accountable as if nothing was wrong! I felt chains wrapped around my heart and my mind.
This heavy heart is one common thread among all my most personal sins – the deep down dirty rotten ones. These are the sins that peal away at your defenses, leaving open wounds just begging for another attack. These are the sins that seem to stay with you forever, and sometimes often the easiest to ignore because they aren’t outward. These sins aren’t in the limelight; they are hidden in the dark recesses of our souls.
So after our study, I asked for prayer to be released from this sin that’s weighed me down for years. And seriously, this sin has followed me for years. And as our leader prayed, she said something that stayed with me, “May the taste of this sin be so bitter she will never want to taste it again.”
Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. – Psalm 34: 8
The archaic definition of the word “taste” is to appreciate or enjoy. I don’t take time each day to appreciate and enjoy God’s goodness. I simply take it for granted because his goodness never fails to be just that: good. I am thankful for this goodness, for it exposes my wickedness. And this same goodness frees me from my wickedness. But I feel as though my entrapment to this sin means I don’t see God as good. If God is good, why isn’t he taking this desire to sin away from me? I know I shouldn’t doubt God’ goodness. But it’s there. I believe I’ve failed to really taste and see not just his goodness, but who he really is in the first place. Perhaps if I had a clearer view of God, perhaps if I remembered it’s not about my goodness in the first place, than perhaps this weight on my heart would lift and I could truly, with Christ’ help, conquer my sin.
I’ve taken refuge. I just have to do the rest.
…I am so easily satisfied
by the call of lovers so less wild
That I would take a little cash
Over your very flesh and blood…
… I am a whore I do confess
But I put you on just like a wedding dress
and I run down the aisle
and I run down the aisle
I’m a prodigal with no way home
but I put you on just like a ring of gold
and I run down the aisle to you ….
Stephanie Nelson 